The return of the Singles Monkey

Following the sad folding of Play Pause Stop it seemed like the end of the road for that loveable scamp The Singles Monkey, however this afternoon on Audioscribbler...

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Editorial Gibbon Grief: The Singles Monkey #1

Lo’ and behold - what’s that unholy odour emanating from the dark underbelly of the basement that is Audioscribbler HQ? Why fear not readers for it is I, The Singles Monkey; here to digest and bring to you each week’s bag of single releases as the format tries to kick and squirm with a desperation appropriate for the dying animal that it is (just to put this article into some sort of context). Never fear though single lovers, because in these troubled times there are always diamonds just waiting to be ensconced from the rough that they hide in. What’s that? The Kooks have a new single out this week? ..shit..

Date: 07/07/08

The last band I remember who had a single called Shine On, Jet, were undeniably shit, and disregarding all that we already know about Brighton’s finest skinny jean clad indie bandwagon jumpers, this is as good an indication as to how The Kooks (Shine On, Virgin) new ‘un is going to go down. “Biting the hand that feeds”, oh if only they would and suddenly release an album full of soaring nine minute instrumentals and angel kissed poetic lyrics; they’d still manage to balls it up no doubt. Who cares though; because when your trilbies are that firmly fixed upon your head whose going to loathe you? Not the average sixteen year old in today’s Indie Britain that’s for sure.

Sticking to all things jangly and NME favoured for a moment, The Last Shadow Puppets (Standing Next To Me, Domino) are clearly everyone’s favourite pocket rockets of the moment and this release ahead of their debut shows is a great deal more impressive than either of cheeky young scamp Turner or cheeky young scamp Kane’s band outputs; how about packing in the day jobs fellas? No? Never mind, solace can be found in Metronomy’s continuously queasy yet catchy 80s sound (Holiday, Because). Happiness never lasts long though when Portishead (The Rip, Island) are in the room; look, there they are, all smouldering and dark. Youtube user XxTheeHeadXx claims that The Rip “is the shit”, and who am I, a humble jungle feline, to disagree with such a knowledgeable totem of all things minimal? No one that is whom, and it’s left for me to quietly purchase a 2 litre bottle of White Lightning, snort some poppers up my nose and flail wildly to the comeback SUMMER SMASH from former number 1 artist Basshunter (All I Ever Wanted, Hard 2 Beat); for your danceable goodness this week instead turn to the often underrated Junkie XL (Cities In Dust, Artwerk) who throws a sleazy house curveball the size of Andre The Giant’s fist at our collective ears. Hercules & Love Affair (You Belong, EMI) sounds positively tame in comparison, the much hyped act taking us all on a trip back to the 90’s so it would seem. If this was the 90s however we wouldn’t even be giving these chaps a second thought; and why would we? Not when the likes of Dr. Albarn, JX and Corona were still cheesing up dance floors nationwide! All together now: “it’s my life, my problems,” they sure are Dr A, they sure are..

N.E.R.D (Everybody Nose, Polydor) really are a bling encrusted world away from the delightful She Wants To Move; their latest offering dripping with about as much charisma as an Andy Murray pre-match interview (check out the up to the minute contextual metaphors there..) Dizzee Rascal (Dance Wiv Me, Dirteestank) fares little better; a rapper with prodigious talent slipping comfortably into the generic world that most successful UK hip hop artists inherit, sometimes I really do think that Scroobius Pip fellow’s right you know. So sadly it looks like the first weekly Singles Monkey is to come to a disappointing end…but wait, what’s that ramshackle ball of noise reaching these finely attuned lobes? Why it’s those loveable scamps Let’s Wrestle (I’m In Fighting Mode/Let’s Wrestle, Stolen) here to save us from the mundane with a glorious double A-side; the fact that one of the songs name checks both Hulk Hogan and Giant Haystacks is surely worth the purchase alone, and the chirpy singalong leaves your faithful Singles Monkey feeling as warm as he did when he took a bath with a hippo...until next week folks!

Words: The Singles Monkey

Yes it appears the flea ridden furball is back and this time it's weekly! Be sure to head to Audioscribbler every weekend for his latest musings on the upcoming singles.